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- NASA defends it’s next-generation moon rocket plans.
- Iran just can’t seem to help itself when it comes to toeing the oppressive police-state line as armed government forces descend on a public mourning for the victims of the post-election violence.
- Recently discovered Mac flaw could leak scrambled data.
- Saudi man forced into hiding after talking about using Bluetooth to pick up chicks in Jeddah on live TV.
- Red Sox’s World Series victories could be tainted by Ortiz/Ramierez perfomance-enhancing drug use.
- Nanotechnology succesfully kills ovarian cancer in mice. Human trials may be less than a year away.
- Senators threaten to reduce federal highway funding to states that do not ban texting and driving. iPhone and Blackberry users in a spectacular show of solidarity rapidly tweet protests and complaints while driving with one knee down the interstate.
- Hugo Chavez, everyone’s favorite demon-sniffing* South American socialist president, pulls his ambassador from neighboring Colombia over a weapons dispute.
- A girl, from her mother’s wombe untimely ripp’d*, discovered alive by NH police. (PS: Holy shit.)
- Pelosi accuses insurance companies of trying to kill a government run health plan, calls insurance companies “villains” and says they’ve been “immoral all along.”
- Men at Work face plagarism case and no, it’s not for the phrase “and men chunder.”
- Pyongyang calls Hillary Clinton ‘a funny lady’ and says ‘sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl.’
- Califonia’s senate decides to pull an all-nighter to figure out this whole $28,000,000,000.00 budget deficit thing.
- China breeds live mice from skin cells.
- Iran’s opposition leader unveils new broad-based political front that will give the opposition to the June elections legal status.
- Khameneni, Iran’s Supreme Ayatollah, orders the dismissal of current vice presidential choice.
- Three people escape Bruges jail in hijacked helicopter.
- Britain’s Prince William spends entire day being cool with a bunch of homeless kids on a mountain.
- N. Korea has stepped up the execution of Christians.
- Ireland realizes it doesn’t have a law against blasphemy and quickly passes one.
- Bill Gates criticises the U.S. for not adopting a national identity card.
- Two lobstermen get into a turf-war shootout, ruin it for everyone else.
