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  1. Palestinian Prime Minister Fayyad drafts document that pushes statehood, infastructure for Palestine.
  2. Some aboreal treelines advancing as planet warms, study says.
  3. Wikipedia to launch controls on editing certain pages.
  4. CIA used mock executions, electric drills, firearms and other “enhanced” interrogation techniques on terrorist subjects investigation reports.
  5. Iran puts hundreds of opposition leaders on mass trail under the pretext of destabilizing the government and trying to start a coup.
  6. North and South Korea to hold talks to re-unite families separated by the Korean War.
  7. One dies, two rescued after being swept into the sea while hundreds crowded Thunder Hole in Acadia Park to watch huge waves from Hurricane Bill.

Team of investigative reporters abducted by an isolationist state prone to torture and with a vendetta against the West? Don’t send in a Navy SEAL extraction team, just send in Bill Clinton.

When life gives him lemons, Bill Clinton makes an Arnold Palmer.

(This was a follow up to yesterday’s World News Update article concerning former President Clinton’s mission to N. Korea.) 

  1. Bill Clinton goes on a solo mission to N. Korea to secure the release of two US reporters.
  2. Remember how cool Pandora was? Not for long as it teams up with Clean Channel, yeah you know that Clear Channel.
  3. Heath Ledger directed Modest Mouse video to premiere.
  4. One reporter and two accompanying tourists have been arrested in Iran after straying accross the Iraqi-Iranian border.
  5. Someone investigates GE and GE throws money at them.
  6. A Canadian family fails to realize that uploading home videos of their 7-year-old driving a car full of people to YouTube may be used as evidence against them.
  7. Praying father allowed diabetic girl to die, opting to put God before a doctor.
  8. Protests in Sudan as woman is tried for wearing “indecent clothing” after caught wearing trousers in public.
  1. Pyongyang calls Hillary Clinton ‘a funny lady’ and says ‘sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl.’
  2. Califonia’s senate decides to pull an all-nighter to figure out this whole $28,000,000,000.00 budget deficit thing.
  3. China breeds live mice from skin cells.
  4. Iran’s opposition leader unveils new broad-based political front that will give the opposition to the June elections legal status.
  5. Khameneni, Iran’s Supreme Ayatollah, orders the dismissal of current vice presidential choice.
  6. Three people escape Bruges jail in hijacked helicopter.
  7. Britain’s Prince William spends entire day being cool with a bunch of homeless kids on a mountain.
  8. N. Korea has stepped up the execution of Christians.
  9. Ireland realizes it doesn’t have a law against blasphemy and quickly passes one.
  10. Bill Gates criticises the U.S. for not adopting a national identity card.
  11. Two lobstermen get into a turf-war shootout, ruin it for everyone else.
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